Friday, February 28, 2014

Not Having Children till after your 30 is a Very Valid, Healthy, and Modern Decision

1) It's not just about you being ready to have children it is about you being ready to bring children into this society.  This world is rough.  People are down right nasty just because they can be and because they have the right to be.  When you bring a child into this new world you have to be ready to teach them how to stand up for themselves, how to protect themselves, and how to get along with individuals who are not willing to be considerate of others.

2) It is just rude to ask or pry or to pressure.  Whether you are or you are not related by blood.  The only people who should bring up the discussion are the future mother-to-be and the future father-to-be.  Period.  Not future grandparents, not strangers, not co-workers.  I remember being antagonized by some of my office co-workers when working in Orlando, Florida.  Some of them were just down right rude at the lunch table and did not have respect for the individual who would have to carry or support the baby.  Absolutely disrespectful to the individual.

3) Anyone who says that "You'll never be financially ready to have a baby if that's what your waiting for" can just shove it.  There smart ass comments or I know better attitude really isn't going to get you anywhere.  The truth is yes you can be financially ready.  Granted you may not be able to own your own home or have a trust fund lying around but when you are financially ready you will know it.  It is part of piece of mind.  It could be something as simple as you starting your own savings account, or reaching the $ amount in your savings account that you have desired.  Or it could be that you finally have secured your time in a career position that is at a great up-swing and that you feel comfortable taking maternity leave without uprooting the project or just knowing you can return to your position.  Quite frankly those people who want to be condescending or laugh at your desire to be "financially ready" can just shove it because they are most likely sore that they were not were they wanted to be.   Not everyone has to follow the same path, individuals make their own path.  Whatever is right for them and their family.

4) There have been so many technological and scientific advances that really there is no more to be worried about the baby or mommy's health.  So many ways to correct a problem.  If you feel like your time is later then no one should scream at you that your child is going to have Down Syndrome.  And no that is not a joke, someone really did rudely poke their head into a conversation I was privately having with my Gramma and screamed aloud "Your child is going to end up with Down Syndrome".  Yes I was ticked. Certainly because DS is not something to throw around lightly.  The truth of the matter is that there are so many environmental illnesses out there (cancer, autoimmune problems, etc) that you and your child will always be facing something.  Why not face it together when you are strong-minded and strong-willed.  My doctor is smart enough to acknowledge this so oldies, live a little and don't be a Debbie Downer because negativism is even worse for the child's health!


13 comments:

  1. or after 50!

    ~Nadine Rossignol

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    1. I'm thinking Halle Berry did it at 50.?.

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    2. I mean more like "not having children at all, ever, is a valid life choice and isn't something I shouldn't have to justify"

      ~Nadine

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    3. The choice to wait til later in life, or to not have kids at all is YOUR choice and that's all that's needed to make it valid.

      ~Nadine

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  2. God in His wisdom didn't give me Laurie until I was 30. Best thing that ever happened to me. I had to grow up first.

    ~Dee Cain

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  3. One thing no one ever thinks of when asking when you're going to have kids is if you CAN have kids. Sadly, these couples have to grin and say "oh someday!" when every time someone asks it's like a knife to the heart. HOWEVER, no one means to be hurtful and it's not really ok to get mad at people who ask in passing. It's kinda one of those topics that people just ask to be friendly, unless it's not friendly and is judgmental or pressurized I certainly would not get angry with someone for asking (and never did). Now of course it's the "When are you going to have another baby?" question LOL

    ~Leah Pearl

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    1. You are so right Leah. And with a couple of the autoimmune issues that I do suffer from, I have secretly wondered in the very back of my mine if I also will have negative experience trying to "have" a baby. But I'm okay to find out when the time comes because if I didn't I'd be a panic attack waiting to happen!

      Oh and yeah good point....when are you going to have that other baby....hmmmmm. How do you go about politely answering that one?

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  4. hmmmm, i'm wondering if i should clarify number one a little. Those coworkers had kept it up over a course of two years and even human resources (pushy with them, yup HR) had stepped in to the point i was crying because they wouldn't accept someone else's decision. It was actually pretty bad! I was young and my husband and I weren't ready for children back then and they just literally pressuring in a very ill-manner. So sad because I loved playing and hanging with their kids and then eventually the line had to be drawn because they kept crossing. yikes!

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  5. You go "Girl -- very Proud of you! When the time is right for you, and beleive me you will know, with mediicial break-throughs a woman can have children later in life --- even in Bibicial times - Sarah and Abramham had a child at over 90+ years of age!!! Not saying I would want a child that late in life --- but there may be a woman who would!!! So don't let "those" people bother you -- you are a very Smart - Intelligent - Loving - Wonderful Woman --- many - many people know this - so like I said abov -- You go Girl -- be yourself - Always! GOD loves you very much ---- just like I do!!! Love Nannie

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  6. I have had people tell me that I am selfish for not having children. I knew from a young age that I did not want to be a mother, and at almost 42 years old my biological clock still has not started ticking. People continue to ask me if I am going to have kids and I just say that ship has sailed, or if they are rude I tell them I guess I was just lucky not to have kids (it is fun to see the reaction to that statement). I have a very happy life and I do not feel like I missed out on anything. Only you and your husband will know if and when you are ready to have kids. I think in general people mean well when they ask about it, but it can feel very intrusive.

    ~Heather Mueller

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    1. Oh Heather O'Meara Mueller, that is terrible people actually have the audacity to tell you that you are selfish. I am glad that you are comfortable enough to stick to what you believe and want for the betterment for your family as it is. Thank you for commenting, I love it when people speak up. Whether the person who comments agrees & or disagrees with me doesn't matter! FYI...I'll be actually transferring all these comments to the blog.

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    2. I think people have something to say no matter your situation. Just try to ignore them and decide what is right for you.

      ~Heather Mueller

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