Friday, January 10, 2014

You Have No Right To Meddle

I've come across a lot of discussions regarding individuals or couples trying to meddle in someone else's birthing practices.  Specifically, the naming of the child.  Let's set the record straight.  Unless you are the parent who is physically giving birth or the other parent who physically conceived the kid that will be born you have absolutely zero right to meddle or get mad about the identification title of the child.

This goes for mothers and fathers of the carrying couple or individual, grandparents, aunts, uncles, or anyone on the street.  Now, everyone has an opinion and one should learn how to politely offer their opinion to the carrying couple/individual in a non-aggressive way so that it is on the table.  This includes hostile or passive aggressive.  And be done.  Period.  Don't excessively complain to another soul about what that couple/individual is naming their child.  It is sick and annoying and just darn disrespectful to the two who will be responsible for raising their child.  

Some of you may say, "well what if that name has been in our family for years??  Well then that should be an exception??"  NOT!  Zero exception.  Unless you are carrying that child in your abdomen or have conceived that child you have zero say.  Period.  Now I will be up front and tell you that I have married into a family where the Irish bloodline is strong and the names are stronger.  The men share not only the first, last and suffix but the middle name as well.  The only, and I mean thee absolutely ONLY way that it is acceptable to chose the carrying on of the name is if that the carrying or conceiving parent desires to pass it on.  If both of them say "over my dead body" then you better believe it and back down because it is not your child.  I am absolutely positive that individuals in my family are reading this post, and are moments away from fainting or blowing a gasket.  Well you can rest assured that my husband and I have chosen to continue the male succession when the time comes for the fourth to reign.  But regardless, it doesn't change the facts at hand.  If we had chosen to be done with the naming game then everyone else would have no choice but to respect that. Period.

It is the same principal if one gets irritated that a child did not get named after their mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, or any other member of their extended family.  If you did not conceive or carry the child then you have zero right to meddle.  Please be respectful of the parent-to-be and learn to support them rather than be a negative-being.

This has happened so many times in front of my eyes that it is sickening.  It's not like you have an indirect relationship with the people and will never meet their creation so think before you speak.

P.S.  If there is one parent who wants to carry on a family name and parent two does not, then they have to work it out for themselves.  In an ideal world, parent two would honor the wishes of parent one and just be respectful and caring of the sentiment.  However, if it is not resolved and parent two wins the situation....Leave it Alone! Unless you are: Parent One or Parent Two!


  1. I agree and I will keep my mouth shut (lol). However, when poor little Peter comes home from school crying because the evil little kids in his class are teasing him, I will remind parent one and two that it is 'their' fault : )

    ~ Kathy Abrams

    1. Thanks for your input! I love it. I will also have to say....that in some situations what you may consider a "normal or common" name is what the parent-to-be is choosing and it is the other person that is fighting the "normal or common" name. I guess that will teach them all, lol!!
      ~Angela O'